Coping With The Pain
by WaterlooRoadFanForever
Summary: Leo is only fifteen and has not had an easy life, then he gets diagnosed with an illness that will affect his whole life. He feels like he can't talk to his parents and he can't talk to his brother about it, Mandy has a mental illness and she lost her family a long time ago, but she has her friend Leo to help her cope. How do these two friends learn to cope?
1. Chapter 1 - Life Changing Diagnosis

**_Hello! Hope You all Like this Story, it is an idea I have had for an while and will be in Leo's POV unless stated otherwise._**

**Coping With The Pain**

Chapter 1 – Life changing Diagnosis

I sat in the hospital waiting room as I waited to see the doctor. I was by myself I couldn't get my parents to come with me in case the diagnosis is what I think it is. I hadn't wanted to come but it got to the point where I needed to know one way or another what was going on in my head.

Eventally the doctor called me in, it was a female doctor it wasn't a sensitive issue so I hadn't requested a male doctor. I looked at her name badge "Doctor Nina Pickering" she sat down on on a chair and requested that I sat in the one opposite her which I did.

"Hello Leo I am Doctor Pickering"

"Leo Fitzgerald"

"Right I understand you are here because you are concerned about your mental health?"

"Y..yes...for many years I have felt...I don't know its hard to explain"

"It's ok take your time"

"I have felt ...sad...but I don't know I can't be happy I try to be but I can't I feel it, I don't feel enjoyment about anything, I feel like I am in a dark room I can't escape from, I don't feel anything good"

"And you are fifteen yes?"

"That's right..., it's like this girl called Bonnie...I cyberbullied her and ...I felt nothing...because I feel nothing I know it makes me a terrible person but I can't help it"

"When did these feelings start?"

"A few years ago just after I turned twelve but it wasn't bad but then there was a lot of issues in my family and it kept getting worse and worse"

"I have been a doctor for many years so I can tell you have depression and badly from what I can gather"

"But...I am only fifteen I am kid...kid's don't get depression"

"Anyone can get depression Leo of any age I have met eight year olds with depression, it's an illness"

"My parent's won't think I have it they are still mad about the bullying thing they will think it's attention seeking"

"If it makes it easier maybe you can come with your parents and I can explain, none of this is your fault Leo"

"It is I shouldn't be like this I make everyone miserable"

"That isn't true, unless someone has had depression they have no idea what it feels like they can't judge you"

"So...what now do I get anti-depressants?"

"That's the thing Leo...you are only fifteen we aren't allowed to give prescriptions to anyone unless they are eighteen or with an adult"

"But you said yourself I need them"

"I am sorry Leo you will have to come back with your parents I can't give them to you I could get in huge trouble for it"

"But I can't bring my parents"

"Then bring another adult who is related"

I stood up thanking the doctor and leaving wondering what I was going to do, of course I could just take my parents but as I told the doctor I wasn't sure they would believe me, Justin my brother is eighteen but he is a no no our relationship is strained right now plus he would tell mum and dad which is exactly what I don't want to happen as I want to deal with it alone, then I thought of the one person who could help me out of this situation...My best friend Mandy she's twenty two she would have no problem getting the tablets for me. I left the hospital getting the bus making my way to the clinic...

_So did you all like the first chapter? it will get better I promise this is just an introduction_


	2. Chapter 2 - Mandy

Chapter 2 – Mandy

I got off the bus and walked the short distance to the gates of the clinic that I knew so well, I walked through the gates and walked on the path towards the white building there was signs saying to stay of the grass and I laughed to myself that they thought that would stop someone like Mandy from doing what they want.

Soon I was at the front door of the "Mexi Clinic "I rang the bell which was there for security. The clinic had different security and lock mechanisms to stop patients getting out. (Though Mandy bypassed it).

I waited for one of the carers to come to the door to let me in, luckily most of them knew me as I visited so often, I saw one of the men Adam one of the main carers come to the door he opened it with a smile.

"Ahh Leo you here to see Mandy?"

"Of course I am why else would I be here?"

He opened the four looks on the door then the bars that cover the door and then the front door finally letting me into the clinic.

"I still don't see how Mandy got past all this" he said as he closed up all the locks again

"She's cleverer than you think"

"And more trouble than she looks" he said with a laugh. I like Adam he really does care about the patients and makes jokes to lighten the mood.

"Anyway where is she?"

"The Living room go on through"

"Thanks" I replied as I walked into the second door on the left. I know my way around from visiting so often so I didn't need a tour; I walked in and saw a lot of patients in the room. It was daytime so unlike at four in the morning when it's dead in here apart from the few patients that were having breakdowns or couldn't sleep it was packed.

I looked around for Mandy and soon saw her sat on a chair reading when one of the other patients, Brynn, tried to take the book so she pushed them away, things were never normal in here it is a mental health clinic so there was always either a fight or some commotion going on a bit like Waterloo Road.

"I wanna read it" Brynn said

"So this is mine get your own unless you want a slap" Mandy replied. This is why I love Mandy she is a fighter she doesn't let anyone mess her around and she terrifies Justin so that makes her even better she isn't like normal girls that is a good thing. I thought it would be wise to stop them both before they got into a fight I walked over.

"Hi Mandy" I said with a small smile

"Oh Leo!" she said hugging me smiling as well

"I thought you might be lonely so I came to visit"

"Oh No I am a bad example look it's a Friday and you are bunking off...oops"

"Yeah I was sweet and innocent and then I met you"

"Shut up you love me really anywise you wouldn't keep coming here"

"Errr you alright" I said pulling a face as she hit my arm playfully

"Seriously though my little geek doesn't normal bunk off so how come you are here"

"Well you know how I have been saying I think I have something wrong with my head because I don't feel happiness?"

"Yes, did you go to the doctor?"

"Mmmm" I said

"Well what did they say?"

"I have "bad depression" apparently"

"So it's official you are mad like me" she laughed to herself, Mandy tends to joke about her illness she says if she can't joke about it she will be driven crazy, I usually go along with it and joke with her but today I don't feel like it.

"I am fifteen and have depression I don't think that is something to be proud off"

"It's better than having schizophrenia"

"Sorry...I shouldn't complain my illness is nothing compared to yours"

"I am used to it though...and you are so young"

"See what would I do without you as my friend you actually understand what it's like to be scared and alone"

"Well you stop me been lonely so I like you too"

"Actually I need to ask you something the doctor won't give me anti-depressants as I am fifteen"

"I know where this is going you need Mandy to get them for you"

"Well yes you are twenty two you can get them easily"

"Ahh yet your school still thought I was young enough to be a pupil"

"My school thought you were new and didn't even ask if you had been enrolled...that says something"

"Miss McFall was always a bit slow"

"Very true...so can you help me you might have to pretend to be my sister though"

"I have never had a brother so sounds cool"

"Having a brother isn't that good I mean look at mine"

"Yeah Justin is an idiot I mean I know I said I hate bullies and you bullied that girl but you had a reason you were having a mental breakdown Justin bullies you because he can and it's your families fault usually my little geek would never do something like that"

I gave her a look she loved calling me her little geek I didn't mind it because I know she likes that about me the fact that I like computers and stuff and wasn't doing it out of spite.

"Who you calling a geek?"

"Erm you duh" she said pointing to me

"If you want to get technical I am a tech geek"

"Yes but somehow my little tech geek doesn't quite sound the same"

"Anyway we best get going Mandy you have to act normal we are going out"

"Normal? What's the fun in doing that?"


	3. Chapter 3 - 'Sister'

Chapter 3 – 'Sister'

Mandy got up and grabbed my arm dragging me down the corridor to the front door of the clinic, she hadn't told anyone we were going out.

"Erm Mands maybe we should tell someone we are going out"

"No way are you mad?"

"But you aren't allowed out by yourself"

"Exactly" she said as she started to work on unlocking the door

"Erm need help?"

"This is taking forever come on let's go the quick way" she said pulling me away again and into a room I had never been in before...her room.

"I don't think I should be in here"

"It's fine I gave you permission" she replied I watched her as she stood on her bed and opened the window that was above it.

"Come here" she said

I joined her and looked out the window her room was on the ground floor so not very high up at all she looked at me and smiled.

"Ok ready to jump?"

"Jump! Have you lost it?"

"I did a few years ago you only just realised?"

"No...I mean why do you want us to kill ourselves"

"It's not even high Leo I do this all the time when I want to get out"

I hated heights of any height I looked down it wasn't very high but it still made me nervous.

"Here its easy look I will go first" she said as she climbed out the window then jumped I covered my eyes expecting her to get hurt.

"Are you coming or not?" I looked up she was stood there with her arms folded but otherwise unharmed.

"Alright alright" I said I stood on the window ledge then jumped I thought my body would crash to the floor but I was surprised when I opened my eyes and I wasn't harmed.

"Nice jump for a beginner...come on" she said as put the hood of her jacket up to hide the fact she was a patient in case anyone looked on the cameras. We ran out the gates and carried on running until we were a bit away from the clinic.

"Right we should be safe" she said removing her hood out of breathe

"We need to get the bus come on" I said as we waited for the bus to come and got on she walked straight on without paying.

"Mandy...you have to pay..." I said through gritted teeth everyone was staring at her but she got up and started emptying her pockets.

"Right I have scissors, a piece of string, a hair clip and an odd button" I rolled my eyes at her I don't know why I expected her to have money.

"An adult and an child please" I said shaking my head at her

She smiled at me and sat down I took the tickets and sat down next to her

"You are a nightmare sometimes"

"Thank you very much so are you"

The bus started to move and Mandy looked out the window as she wasn't used to been out so liked to see the sights.

"Come on this is our stop" I said as the bus pulled into the hospital and we both got off walking into the entrance of the hospital, I asked to see Doctor Nina Pickering again as she was the one who gave me my diagnosis and then we sat down in the waiting area.

"So remember you are my sister"

"Eww" she laughed as she leaned her chin on my shoulder "I wouldn't want you as a brother you are geeky"

"Oh please it's me been geeky that you love"

"Ok that is true"

Nina came out a few minutes later and invited me back in we all sat down and I just hoped the plan would work.

"I did as you asked...I brought my sister"

"What's her name?" she asked I started to answer but Mandy interrupted me

"Mandy...R...Mandy Fitzgerald"

"And what is your date of birth?"

"May 4th 1992" she said without hesitation

"Great, I couldn't give them to your brother as he is only fifteen"

"I know he told me everything and I said I would come with him as he doesn't want mum and dad to come with him"

"Right well these anti depressants should only be taken twice a day and two tablets at a time, don't take any more than that or you could overdose on them Leo"

"What if they don't work?"

"Then come back and we can give you a stronger dose"

"I will make sure he only takes them when he is supposed to I always look after my little brother" she said ruffling my hair playing along

"Get off will ya" I said flattening my hair down again

"Right Mandy you need to sign these papers and then I can give them to you"

"Sign? This won't stay on record will it?"

I slapped my forehead gently, most people wouldn't ask that question the doctor looked a bit taken aback as well.

"No it won't"

"Then I will sign"

She signed the paper a bit messy and nearly putting her real last name, Ruskin, but she changed it at the last moment.

"Thank you, here you go" Nina said handing me the pills

"Thank you very much"

"Oh and Leo tell your parents"

"Oh they know...it's kicking in for them though"

"Great I hope they help"

We left the hospital and I hugged Mandy

"Good work but the ruffling of the hair was a bit much"

"And I kept forgetting my last name was Fitzgerald"

"I know I thought you were going to come out with your real name"

"Well luckily I didn't"

"Come on we best get back before anyone notices you are gone"


	4. Chapter 4 - My Family

Chapter 4 – My Family

I got home from the clinic jut gone six, I walked through the front door and hadn't even took my coat off before I was rounded on.

"Where have you been?" asked my mum Olga Fitzgerald clearly annoyed and fed up

"Out" I replied not giving any details

"This behaviour is getting to much Leo" said my dad, Vaughan Fitzgerald, who appeared standing next to my mum "First you have the addiction and hurt Sonya, then you bully poor Bonnie and now you are bunking off school, when will you start keeping your head down and staying out of trouble"

"I don't know when I feel like it" I said smiling

"Watch your attitude young man!" my mum yelled

"I thought you were sorry about the whole Bonnie thing and you were going to try put things right?" dad asked

"Yeah well I ain't really sorry she deserved it didn't she" I replied and saw the shocked look on my parents faces

"I don't know what is wrong with you these days but that is horrible Leo, now get to your room and stay there!" mum yelled angrily, eyes glaring at me.

"Gladly" I said as I ran up the stairs walking past Justin's room heading to mine

"Mate are you ok? Where were you mum and dad were dead worried" Justin my eighteen year old brother asked

"If there was a problem, which there isn't, why would I ever tell you?"

"Because I am your big brother"

"Sorry Justin I am a bit busy" I said before walking into my room slamming my door

I didn't mean to act like a spoiled brat, but my family drive me crazy so much has happened and they think now they can just put it right overnight, but it doesn't work like that. My dad walked out on us and then my mum got ill with 'depression' though I doubt she was feeling anything like I feel she was only depressed as she was crying over a man and then I went to live with my dad and his new partner and her two kids. I was neglected and then my mum came back and I was even more neglected, then my brother sleeps with the girl I had a crush on and now my parents are back together and are trying to go back to how it was before, but I am too hurt for that, I don't trust any of them, why would you trust people who just keep hurting you over and over? I wish they would realise maybe I don't want to make things right I have been without them all for years I don't need them anymore I only live here as I am fifteen and have nowhere else to go.

* * *

An hour later I hear mum calling us for dinner as she is worried I don't eat as I am playing games which is not true, I go down and my parents and Justin are already sat round the table. That is one thing they are trying to do to fix things they think that by us having dinner as a family things will get better as we spend time together.

"Thanks, but I will eat in my room" I said keeping my eyes down like I always do I find it hard to look at them it just reminds me of all the pain they have put me through.

"No you are sitting down and we are eating as a family" my dad said folding his arms, I decide just to give in I don't have to speak to them.

"So how are things with you lately Leo?" my mum asked me trying to make conversation

"Fine" I said eating my pasta as quick as I could so I could get away

"And how is your schoolwork going?"

"Fine" I replied trying to give her the hint I don't want to talk

"Leo when your mother asks you a question you will answer properly and not with attitude" my dad said

"Whatever you say father dearest" I say saluting him

Justin could see the tension around the table so he decided to try to 'help me'.

"Mate...I know why don't we go out on Saturday just us two, we can go wherever you want, something sciencey I don't care"

"You only want to hang out as you don't currently have a girl to hang out with, and "Sciencey" isn't even a word"

"I know that...but that's not true I want to hang with you as you are my brother"

"Oh what so if a girl rang you right now asking to hang out on Saturday you would say no and go with me"

"Of course"

"Yeah right, I am done" I say dumping my plate in the dishwasher and going back to my room. I checked my phone and saw I had a new text from Mandy saying:

"Yo bro, don't 4get to take your pills"

I actually had forgotten as I wasn't used to taking them everyday yet, I took two and swallowed them with a bottle of water and then replied.

"Thanks 'sis', just kidding, thanks for reminding me now stay out of trouble"

She replied moments later clearly bored in the clinic

"Me trouble? Never"


	5. Chapter 5 - School

Chapter 5 – School

On Monday it was of course school, I was dreading it. School had always been bad but since it had come out I was the one who was bullying Bonnie things were even worse, people would say things, and avoid me.

Walking into school that morning it started straight away, Lisa and Shazney walked into school as I was at my locker. Lisa went one side of me and Shazney the other. These two were the real bullies not me they were always picking on people for no reason.

"Ahh look it's Leo the Bully, Ahh please Mr Bully don't bully me because I won't sleep with you, have mercy please bully" said Lisa laughing

"Who would have thought a freak could be a bully? I bet he had to look online how to spell half the words like slut he probably didn't know what one was" Shazney laughed

I slammed my locker slut and pushed past them walking away they kept shouting insults to me as I walked; I tried my best to block them out. As I was walking I saw one of my friends Carrie Norton, I walked to her with a smile.

"Hi Carrie"

"Oh hi..." she said not making eye contact..."Sorry I have to go" she said before quickly walking away. I knew she was avoiding me, she like everyone else thought I would start on them next.

* * *

I went to my first lesson of the day that was English with Miss Hutchinson, everyone sat away from me just in case they were my next 'victim'. I took the opportunity to text Mandy under the desk but I wasn't as sneaky as I thought.

"Fitzgerald put it away now unless you want it confiscated"

Fitzgerald. Not even Leo now, the teachers had been off with me too and some like Miss Hutchinson had started calling me by my last name as if the name 'Leo' was evil and couldn't be said anymore.

"It should be confiscated" said a girl in my class "Who knows what he is texting; he could still be texting Bonnie for all we know"

"Or some other girl why is he allowed to even keep his phone he is nothing but a bully" uttered another girl

People starting chanting Bully over and over, I looked up at Miss Hutchinson she did nothing she like everyone else thought I deserved it, I couldn't cope with it I got up and ran out the class straight into Bonnie who had just walked out the toilets.

"OWWW LEO, just leave me alone you weirdo!" she shouted before running back to her class. I was going to go to the boys toilets but anyone could be in there and I couldn't cope with the teasing, so I ran into the nearest storeroom I could find knowing no one would be in it at this time. I closed the door and leaned against it taking deep breathes trying to calm down, my depression was playing up.

I took my bag off my back and opened the front pocket where my anti- depressants were, the box was covered in red writing warning how important it was the dose should not be extended because it could lead to overdosing or addiction. Ignoring the warning I opened the box and took four out hoping the more I took the more it would help. I swallowed the four with some water hoping it would give me some relief from the pain I was feeling.


	6. Chapter 6 - Mandy's Story

Chapter 6 – Mandy's Story

I was sat in the living room of the clinic on Saturday morning. Mandy had gone to the canteen in the clinic to get food for us so I was on my phone texting. I looked at the time and realised it was time for me to take my tablets so I got them out my bag, took four out the packet and proceeded to take them.

"What are you doing?" I heard Mandy say as she sat down next to me handing me my bacon barm cake whilst looking at the tablets in my hand.

"Just taking my pills, I take them every day at this time and thanks for the food" I said

"Yeah I know that but aren't you supposed to take two at a time, not four?" she asked me eyeing me suspiciously.

"Two doesn't do anything so I have increased the dose" I say

"Leo you know I ain't one to lecture but...you can't do that, it can have side effects or you can become addicted to them or even overdose".

"How can you become addicted to anti-depressants?"

"It happens, more and more people are becoming addicted to painkillers I am sure if you can become addicted to those you can become addicted to anti-depressants"

"Ok so there is a risk of that but overdosing? You have to take like twenty pills at once for that to happen"

"Not really you are still overdosing but just not as fast as you would if you took more, and trust me overdosing is not worth it"

The way she said that sentence was fishy, like she knew someone who had overdosed on pills, but I knew how to get her to talk to me about it. I knew she trusted me enough to tell me like I had trusted her enough to tell her about my depression.

"What do you mean? Who do you know who overdosed? Someone in the clinic?" I asked knowing she knew everyone in the clinic better than I did.

She took a bite of her barn cake pausing for a minute as she was figuring out what she wanted to say. Sometimes she finds it hard to know how to reply she has to think about it first.

"Well...yeah they live in the clinic but ..Let's just say you know them"

"What you mean...you!?" I asked as that was there only conclusion I could come to

"Yes it was me..A while ago"

"Wait you overdosed?"

"I didn't mean to...it was when I was first diagnosed I did what you did...I thought they weren't working so I took more than it said to"

"And what happened?"

"I was fine at first, but then after a few weeks I started to get ill...physically ill not mentally"

"How were you sick?" I asked

"I started to get chest pain, and I was always hot because I had a temperature, and I was always tired I would fall asleep during the day for hours"

"So you knew straight away you had overdosed?"

"No...I thought I had a bug or something I was still taking the pills, not realising they were causing it" she replied

"So what happened then?" I asked eating my food

"I wasn't getting better, I started been sick and I would feel lightheaded and then one day..I collapsed"

"Oh no that is not good"

"I woke up in hospital, they told me I had overdosed, I was really sick, but they would make me only take the right dose in hospital and I started to get better"

"You aren't making this up to scare me are you?" I asked knowing Mandy could say things to scare me into not doing something.

"No look I can prove it, wait here" she said as she walked out the living room and I presume to her room. She came back a few minutes later holding a picture in her hand. I took it the picture was of her in hospital. She was attached to machines and stuff.

"Oh...you don't look well"

"I wasn't, I had been poisoning my body so of course I would look sick"

"I..I didn't realise it could happen like that...I thought you had to take them all at once to overdose"

"So did I...but when I started taking them properly...the right amount , I started to get better straight away"

"I am glad you went through...no I didn't mean that...I mean"

"I know what you mean you are glad I experienced it because I can stop you making the same mistake"

"Yeah obviously I don't want you sick"

"See this is what I mean...it's not worth ending up hooked up to machine's in hospital...its best just to stick to the dose"

"But what if they don't work..."

"You can get stronger doses, though I will have to pretend to be your sister again"

I looked at the pills I was still holding in my hand, I hadn't realised tiny pills could make someone so ill and I knew it wasn't worth it. I took two of the four pills and put them back in the box and took the two I was meant to take, Mandy smiled at me.

"Good little geek listening to someone older and wiser than you"

"Wiser? No way"

She grabbed a pillow from the sofa we were sat on and hit me with it laughing, as she moved her hair out her face.

"Hey! Stop with the violence"

"Na its fun"

I smiled and hugged her gently, letting her knowing I was grateful that she was helping me and needing to know someone cares about me. She smiled as we hugged and I knew it had taken strength to tell me.

* * *

I got home after visiting Mandy, of course my family started to fuss over me pretending they cared about me, I played along this time letting them think I was starting to trust them all again. My family make me laugh they think they are perfect and everything is okay. They can't even tell there is something wrong with me and as Mandy says 'I don't half make it obvious'.

After we had finished our 'family time' by playing this silly board game, I went upstairs to my room and played on the PlayStation 4 for a bit...well I say a bit more like a few hours as I lost track of time. By then it was getting quite late so I got my tablets out my bag and went to take four out but then I thought of Mandy and I shook my head before taking the two tablets I was supposed to take and smiling she had saved me before it was too late.


	7. Chapter 7 - Trouble

A/N – Hello everyone I have a quick note to make. I am currently in the process of writing two stories. I usually update everyday however I am finding this hard to do every single day. I have decided updates will be on Monday's, Tuesdays and Thursdays and maybe the weekends some weeks but not every week. This makes it a lot easier for me and I hope you will all still read my stories

Chapter 7 – Trouble

The next day was Sunday. Dad had no idea I was visiting Mandy so often, he would flip if he found out as he thinks she isn't safe. Mandy and I had gone to the hospital again to see the doctor about a higher dose, as I am so young she needs to discuss it with her boss so she will ring me later letting me know what is happening.

Mum made us go out for a walk in the woods for some family time, it was so boring and long, I lagged behind them all texting Mandy and sending her pictures of trees.

'Oh look another tree; this is such a fun time!' I texted and attached the picture of a tree, she texted back a laughing face.

After we got home I decided to go for a shower, so I put my phone on the kitchen counter and went upstairs.

_Vaughan's POV_

Leo had gone upstairs for a shower and Olga and I were watching TV in the living room and talking when all of a sudden his phone started to ring.

"Is that Leo's?" Olga asked looking around

"Yeah just ignore it; it will stop in a minute"

After a few more rings it stopped but then a minute later it started ringing again.

"Someone really wants to speak to Leo" said Olga

"They will get the message he can't answer"

I was wrong. His phone kept stopping and starting again and again. After it had started ringing for the fifth time I got annoyed.

"Right I have had enough of that ringing!" I said and walked to the kitchen picking up the phone. I didn't make a habit of answering either of my sons' calls but this is ridiculous.

"What!?" I said a bit more angry than I should have done. I was so angry I hadn't even looked at the name.

"Leo?" a voice I didn't recognise said

"No this is his father, Leo can't answer right now"

"Oh Mr Fitzgerald, this is Leo's doctor can you tell him to call me back?"

"Doctor...why has Leo being seeing a doctor?"

"He told you about it, now I was supposed to see Leo and his sister tomorrow but something has come up so it will have to be Tuesday, can you tell him?"

"Wait...sister?"

"Yes they come to the appointments together"

"Leo doesn't have a sister! He only has a brother" I said annoyed

"Stepsister then" she said and for one crazy moment I thought of Tiffany. But Tiffany and Leo hadn't of got on very well I doubt she would go with him.

"What's the name of this 'sister'?" I asked

"Oh, you should know she's your daughter, Mandy"

I heard the name and immediately know who it was and I wasn't happy.

"Oh Mandy, sorry one of them days, I will tell them both"

"Ok thank you Mr Fitzgerald, goodbye"

I hanged up the call and felt the anger rising

"LEO DOWN HERE NOW!"

_Leo's POV_

I had just finished getting dressed when I heard dad yelling for me to go down, I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I still needed to dry my hair.

"LEO NOW I AM SERIOUS" he shouted loudly. I got up and stormed out my room, stomping down the stairs and walking into the living room.

"WHAT!?" I said angrily as I had been in the middle of something

"Don't use that tone with me young man, sit down!" he said

I sat on the sofa folding my arms annoyed; I didn't want to talk to dad.

"I just got an interesting call" he said looking at me

"You called me all the way down to tell me you got a phone call?" I said thinking he had finally lost it.

"No...You got a phone call" he replied.

"YOU ANSWERED MY PHONE! THAT'S AN INVASION OF PRIVACY"

"Well it wouldn't stop ringing Leo, it was getting annoying"

I got worried then. Thinking Mandy had been calling me, sometimes when she is bored she keeps calling or texting me till I answer as she has nothing else to do but annoy me. I looked at dad trying to get a hint of who it had been.

"It was a doctor" he said putting me of guard. The doctor rang on a Sunday?

"A ...doctor?" I asked pretending not to know anything

"Yes a doctor she told me to tell you and your sister that she can't see you tomorrow"

"Sister? She must be mistaken and meant brother"

"Na she was very clear Leo, I had no idea you had a sister named Mandy"

I gulp. I knew this wasn't going to be pleasant and I couldn't get out of it.

"Well...I..."

"You are still seeing Mandy? I have told you time and time again I don't want you near her"

"Why not!? She's lovely"

"She tried to attack you with scissors!"

"She never touched me with them; she was terrified that's why"

"Leo...she's dangerous"

"No she isn't! I have been visiting her for months and she has never attacked me before"

"Oh so you have been visiting when I specially told you not to?"

"YES IT'S MY LIFE"

"Why are you seeing a doctor anyway?"

"I...I'm not ...Mandy goes to get her tablets she doesn't like to go by herself"

"Then why did the doctor ring you?"

"Erm...Mandy doesn't want people in the clinic to know that I go with her...so she gave the doctor my phone number"

"You aren't lying to me are you Leo?" he said looking at me in the eye but I had got great at lying.

"No dad that's the truth"

He seemed to buy it and said I could go but as I got to the doorway I heard him speak and turned around.

"You can't see Mandy anymore either Leo"

I nodded and turned away whispering to myself "Yes we will see about that"


	8. Chapter 8 - Unable To Cope

Chapter 8 – Unable to Cope

As I have said I bullied Bonnie Kincaid. I had my reasons, first I had undiagnosed depression which made me feel worthless and then my brother slept with Bonnie even though he knew I had a crush on her. That day I found out something happened to me, I don't really know what all I know is that I found myself writing a horrible text and sending it then I send another...and I just couldn't stop...I wanted someone else to feel the pain I was in. Luckily dad had convinced Bonnie and her parents not to press charges if they had I could have been in a lot of trouble as cyber bullying is counted as harassment which is illegal. That's why I didn't expect what happened.

It was a normal Wednesday; I went into school, got teased a bit then went to my first lesson of the day, History with Miss McFall. I was doing the class work when all of a sudden there was a knock at the door and Miss Donnegan, the secretary, walked in.

"Hello Miss McFall, sorry to disturb you can I borrow Leo please?"

"Sure, you may go Leo"

I stood up leaving my bag thinking she only wanted a word with me outside

"I think you best bring your stuff..." she said not looking at me.

I was confused; Sonya never came to get pupils unless she needed to ask them a quick question about some of their information. I packed up my stuff, put my bag on my back and walked out with her.

"Erm what's going on?" I asked trying to figure out the situation

"Leo...there is some people here to see you" she said and started to walk without another word I followed. School was quiet as everyone was in class so there was nothing to distract me from this feeling of dread something bad was coming.

I followed her into my dad's office and we stopped outside the office door. That's when I saw two policeman standing there and started to panic, they obviously had found out I was the bully, when they saw me come in they looked at me.

"I...I'm sorry" I say scared but unbeknown to me Bonnie was getting her own back.

"Leo Fitzgerald" one of the officers said "I am arresting you on suspicion of harassment and attempted rape".

I froze shocked. Did he just say what I thought he said? What was he talking about? I hadn't touched Bonnie.

"WHAT!?" I said in shock

"You do not have to say anything but it can harm your defence if you do not mention now something you would later relay on in court"

"Court?" I said still in shock for what I was been arrested for. The officer who wasn't talking came behind me to handcuff me.

"WOAH what you doing" I say trying to fight him off

"It's better if we do this the easy way, without fighting" he said as he handcuffed me. I looked up at dad the look on his face was shock but I saw something else...he thought I was guilty.

"Get off me!" I said as they started to lead me out by now the bell had gone and people were coming out of their classrooms, some saw me been arrested and smiled, others looked shocked. My mum saw and ran over as they lead me down the stairs and out the school.

"What are you doing that's my son!" my mum shouted as we got to the car

"Sorry we have to take him to the station" one of the officers said as they opened the door and put me in the car. I looked at mum through the window more in shock than scared as they drove off.

After what felt like a lifetime they parked the car and I was led into the police station and into an interview room where I presume I was going to be asked questions.

"Leo Fitzgerald please state your date of birth for me" one of the officers said

"12th October 1999" I said as he nodded and wrote down my age.

"Right Leo is it true you bullied Bonnie Kincaid?"

"Well ...y...yeah but I didn't mean to hurt her"

"Right tell me what happened on the 23rd January"

"Nothing...by then everyone knew I was the bully but nothing happened"

"So it's not true that you asked Bonnie to meet you at the school bike sheds and then when you arrived you started to kiss her and touch her"

"That's a load of crap!"

"Well Bonnie said she only mangered to get away because she was quick enough to thump you in the mouth and it was bleeding and because of you been in pain you let go"

I was in shock. Justin had thumped me in the mouth when we had a fight at home but I had hit him to as we had got into a physical fight but how did Bonnie know that?

"And it looks like she was right...you have a scab on your lip...did someone by any chance hit you?"

"Yes but it wasn't Bonnie it was Justin my brother we had a huge fight the other day"

"And did you also send Bonnie this text "You won't believe what I have in store for you today" "

"Yes but...I didn't mean about...I was talking about something else"

I saw the two officers look at each other and they clearly didn't believe a word I was saying.

"Give us a minute" the officers said as they walked out the room, I was thinking about running but I was still handcuffed I wouldn't get far. A few minutes later they walked back into the room.

"Leo Fitzgerald I am charging you for the attempted rape and the harassment of Bonnie Kincaid"

"NO" I screamed knowing it will do no good as they led me out to the room and to smaller room where I had to take my shoes, school jumper and tie off and I was searched. The officer searching me found my pills and raised an eyebrow looking at me.

"No please they aren't drugs I have depression I need them please don't take them!"

"A fifteen year old with depression?" Yeah right"

"No please ...PLEASE" I begged as they confiscated them and I was taken to the holding cells, I followed shaking now terrified as the officer opened the door to one of the cells and I was told to go in.

"NO" I fussed knowing I wouldn't be able to cope in there, I tried to resist but they mangered to get me in and they locked the door. I was in a tiny room with a toilet and a bench and straight away I couldn't cope.

"LET ME OUT" I banged on the door screaming and shouting repeatly as I cried, I couldn't cope in here. I was shaking and didn't stop banging on the door, but after a while when I realised no one was going to come I slid down the door onto the floor and cried as I brought my knees to my chest, I had never been like this I think this is what it was like to have a breakdown and having depression was not helping me right now. I was shaking and crying and I saw my arms, I had a short sleeved shirt on so skin was exposed. I started to bite my arms, I didn't want to hurt myself but it was helping me to cope a little bit as it gave me something to focus on, they didn't bleed very much anyway.

A while later I was taken to the actual prison and the cell was the same except it had what was supposed to be an actual bed. I felt sick knowing this time I properly wasn't going to get out and had to run to the toilet and be sick. I sat on the bed still crying and bit my arms more hoping Bonnie would drop the charges.

That night was the worse of my life I didn't sleep at all I never realised how scary the dark is when you are alone in a prison cell in pitch black and deadly silence, I just hoped tomorrow someone would visit me so I could get out.


	9. Chapter 9 - Visits

Chapter 9 – Visits

I had been awake all night, I had no idea what time it was as the police had took my phone and there was no clock in here, but as it was bright outside I knew it must be about eight. I got out my bed looking at my arms, they were covered in bites from where I had broken down yesterday, and I just hoped no one noticed. I was just deciding what to do when all of a sudden my cell was opened and an officer walked in.

"Leo you have visitors" he said as he took me outside and gave me one of the yellow belt things prisoners have to wear. I was then led to a room with a lot of tables and chairs as it was the visitors' room. I saw my parents and Justin straight away and as I came out they stopped talking and looked at me. I walked towards them slowly and put my hands on the table when I got there.

"H...hey" I said not knowing what to say as I sat down opposite them. They were all quiet like me not knowing what to say.

"Hi Leo" my mum started and then walked over and hugged me but it wasn't like a comforting hug it was awkward. I smiled slightly as she pulled away and we both sat down again.

"So...how was last night?" my dad asked me trying to start conversation

"I am in a prison cell ...it obviously wasn't good"

"Yes I know that but I meant are you coping?" my dad asked. He obviously knew nothing about me.

"Yes, its fine" I said shrugging

"Did you do it?" Justin said speaking for the first time and looking at me

"Oh yeah because I am really capable of that aren't I?"

"No but...you REALLY liked Bonnie you were so mad at her" he said

"Why would I want to sleep with Bonnie that much anyway I am fifteen I am not thinking about sex yet"

"I know that but..."

"No go on Justin, we all know that you and dad think I am guilty anyway, the look dad gave me yesterday when I was being arrested told me that"

"I don't think you are guilty Leo..." he said looking at me "I just...I don't know you anymore I never thought you would be capable of bullying but...well you did bully someone"

"Yeah well it doesn't matter they have evidence against me so I am 99.9% sure that I will get done for it"

"We will get you the best Lawyer we can" my mum said smiling at me

"A lawyer can't help me in my case; the only thing that will help me is if you can get Bonnie to drop the charges"

"We can't force her to do that Leo...that's not how it works" my dad said

"Why not! Oh yeah I forgot you don't want me out of here...you have your perfect son now I mean let's be fair I was never even wanted was I?"

"Leo of course we wanted you" my mum said but not making eye contact, my dad saw the tension and looked at his watch clearly not wanting to stay any longer.

"Sorry son...we best go now or we will be late for school" he said patting me on the back and walking out with Justin as mum hugged me again.

"Bye then" I say as I walk away back into the prison. That's when I knew who I needed; I knew who would believe me.

"Hey...do prisoners still get one phone call?" I asked the officer who was with me

"Yes they do, do you want to have yours now?"

"Please" I said as he showed me where the phone is

"Take your time to think about whom to call...you only get one chance"

"I know exactly who to call" I said as I picked up the phone and rang the number for the clinic, it's just lucky I knew that number.

"Good morning, this is Mexi Clinic, Ian is speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hello I am Leo Fitzgerald I would like to speak to Mandy Ruskin please?"

I didn't know Ian as he worked in the office answering the phone so I knew he wouldn't know who I am, which is why I gave my name.

"That's fine I will just get her" he said as he put the phone down and I waited on the line for someone to pick up

"Hello? Leo?" the familiar voice of Mandy said a few minutes later as she picked up "Why you ringing the clinic you never ring the clinic only my mobile"

"Look Mandy I don't have time to explain here but something has happened...I am in jail"

"Wait what?"

"I can't explain over the phone I don't have time but can you come and visit?"

"I will be there straight away" she said as she hanged up and I knew she was making her way here.

I was taken back to my cell and given some gross food that tasted rank so I didn't eat it. I just hoped Mandy wouldn't be too long I really needed to see her. Before long my cell was opened again.

"Someone is popular, there is another visitor"

I jumped up as fast as I could and walked out quickly putting the belt on before walking out. I saw Mandy straight away she stood up as I walked over to the table, as soon as I was close enough she walked towards me and hugged me, but unlike with mum it wasn't awkward it was comforting she was trying to tell me she was worried and it was making me feel safe. After a few minutes we pulled away and sat down.

"So what happened?" she asked confused

"You know the girl I bullied Bonnie? She is saying I tried to rape her"

"She is what!?" you wouldn't ...you couldn't"

"Glad someone believes me my parents and my brother think I did"

"Yes but they don't know you like I do, you would never even consider it"

"Thank you...but she has evidence I don't know how she knew but she knows about my fight with Justin...my busted lip"

"Well you came to the clinic with your lip bleeding and I cleaned you up so she can't use that against you"

I explain to Mandy everything Bonnie has said she is in shock.

"That scumbag...you wouldn't touch her or any girl, if she knew you she would know you are shy you wouldn't start kissing someone out of nowhere"

"Exactly...that's my problem I am why too shy to even talk to a girl I like let alone go and kiss them"

She looked at my arms as I talked as they were still uncovered she took one and looked at the bites. Even though I hadn't wanted anyone to see I am glad she cares enough to notice.

"You have been biting your arms haven't you?"

"I didn't mean it when they put me in the cell they took my tablets they thought they were drugs I couldn't cope and it took my mind of it"

She looked at them more; she had seen all kinds of marks and scars that people had caused themselves in the clinic.

"Don't worry they will heal they have barely pierced the skin" she said as I took my arm back and crossed them.

"Mandy...you have to get Bonnie to drop the charges"

"Oh don't worry once I am done with her she will be saying anything I tell her to"

"No don't hurt her...I don't want you in here too that won't help me, please just try get her to drop them I could get years in here..."

"I promise I will get you out of here and I won't touch her"

I smiled; I knew it was the truth Mandy doesn't ever break promises. I knew she wouldn't let me down.

The bell rang meaning visiting time was over, we both stood up and Mandy walked up to me and kissed my cheek which she sometimes did. We were like a close brother and sister.

"Next time I see you, you will be out of here" she smiled as she left, I watched her going knowing everything will be ok.


	10. Chapter 10 - Telling The Truth

Chapter 10 – Telling the Truth

_Mandy's POV_

I made my way towards Waterloo Road. Strictly speaking I wasn't allowed there but Leo needed me so I will take the risk of being seen. I was soon at the school gates I walked through them and into the school being careful to avoid any teachers or knew me; the only problem was I didn't know who Bonnie was so I had to be sneaky. I stayed outside listening to people in case I heard the name Bonnie which I did as Justin walked past the lockers.

"Bonnie? Are you coming over later for that science project or should I go to you?"

"I think you best come to mine" the girl smiled as Justin agreed and walked off. I waited until I knew Justin was long gone then walked towards the girl. She was covered in makeup and had extensions...what had Leo seen in this girl.

"Are you Bonnie Kincaid?" I asked the girl as she turned to look at me confused

"Who wants to know?" she asked me looking me up and down

"Mandy wants to know"

"And who is 'Mandy"...how do you know me?"

"I am Leo's friend"

"Ahh well watch yourself...Leo isn't as nice as he looks"

"Yeah well about that we are going to talk, where is private around here?"

"You think I am going off with someone I just met?"

"Look we can do this the easy way or I will drag you by your cheap extensions...now it's your choice"

Bonnie looked at me for a minute as if she thought I was mad (which I am) and then she nodded her head a little and monitored for me to follow. She took us to the bike sheds the ones Leo and I had hid in that first day we met.

"Right ok...I just want to know why you are saying Leo tried to rape you"

"Erm because he did"

"Yeah right I know Leo better than he knows himself and Leo could never do that he would be way to nervous, I mean when he fancied you he didn't tell you because he was to shy"

"So? This is different he was angry, been angry can make people do crazy things"

"I know you are lying you aren't acting like someone who nearly got raped "Oh of course Justin come round" I said in a high pitched voice twirling my hair mocking her "Girls who have been raped or been nearly raped would be sick at the sight of men not flirting with them"

"How do you know? Have you been raped?"

"Not me personally but...I have friends who have and they were traumatised"

"People react in different ways when things like this happen"

"Girls who have been raped or nearly been can barely say the word"

"Well I can, I am not lying"

"You seem friendly with Justin...did he tell you about his fight with Leo?"

"Fight with Leo what are you on about?"

"He told you about his busted lip didn't he and you had the text that's when you realised you could use it to your advantage"

"That's ridiculous"

"Is it? You were mad at Leo and mad he hadn't got in more trouble for the bullying so you decided to take matters into your own hands"

"He deserves it...he needs to suffer like he made me suffer"

"So you admit it? He didn't try it on with you?"

"No he didn't but he bullied me and he didn't even get punished for it...a few days of school big whoop"

"That' not Leo's fault but getting him put in jail is a little far"

"I want him to feel exactly how much pain he caused me I want him to suffer"

"Trust me...Leo is suffering more than you or anyone else will ever know"

"Yeah right he walks around the school all smug not caring about what he did"

I had got Bonnie to admit it to me but I had to somehow get her to go to the police and drop the charges. I had to think of a way to convince her.

"Well you do know that lying to the police is illegal...if they...no when they find out you are lying you can get arrested for it"

"WHAT!?" but I...I didn't lie I just stretched the truth...I can't go to jail

"If you don't end this right now you more than likely will"

"Fine come on let's go to the police station"

"Ok...ok"

We walked to the police station I went with her as there was no way I was letting her go alone as she probably wouldn't even go. I walked behind her as we walked into the police station and I walked to the counter.

"Can we see someone about Leo Fitzgerald please?" I asked the officer

"Name" he asked me

"Mandy...his sister" I said knowing a sister will go down better than his friend

A few minutes later an officer came out and I told her Bonnie had to tell them something

"You are the victim aren't you?"

"No...I lied" she said looking down

"Look whoever has told you, you have to come here and drop the charges, you don't"

"They haven't...I lied ok...I can prove it"

The officer sat down opposite Bonnie as Bonnie got out her phone and went on a text

"Right I said that Leo tried it on 25th January right?"

"That is correct"

"Well...look at the actual send date...the 14th ...why would he say he had something in store for me 12 days before he did it?"

"I don't understand...what did he mean then?"

"He defaced some pictures of me and put them in my locker"

"Oh but he didn't touch you?"

"No and I have a form here which shows it's impossible...on that day Leo ran in sick from school" she said handing her the absent report

"But he could have easily sneaked into school and met you"

"Ahh no because he was visiting his ...f...sister see when you go to that clinic all vistors ahve to sign in and then sign out...he signed in at eleven and signed out at six at night..I said he attacked me at 1pm but he couldn't off"

"Is the no way he could have sneaked out?"

"The clinic is covered in about twenty different security locks, and he was with me the whole time and even if he hadn't been its 20 minutes to school and back from the clinic I would have noticed something"

"I lied because I was angry at him but please let him out now he isn't guilty of rape"

The officer told Bonnie off for a bit about how stupid it was to lie about something like that, but luckily as she had confessed now she was let off.

"So are you going to let Leo out now!?" I asked not wanting him in there any longer

"Yeah of course wait her" he said leaving to get him, Bonnie didn't want to see him so she went home.

Leo came out a bit later and walked to me hugging me smiling, I rubbed his back gently.

"See told you I would get you out"

"Now I have to wait for my parents" he sighed

"No you don't you are free to go"

"Yeah well I have to go home as I have nowhere else to go

"Fine but I am waiting with you"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked worried about what his parents will say

"No...But I am not leaving you when you need me" I smiled


	11. Chapter 11 - Scared and Alone

Chapter 11 – Scared and Alone

Mandy and I spoke as we waited for my parents to arrive, she asked me if I was feeling okay after being in prison and I told her the truth about how I felt and she listened and comforted me, I told her about my pills been taken so she went to speak to the officer as she was coming back my parents walked in, my dad first and then my mum. My dad saw Mandy and got mad.

"Leo is your brain not working? How many times do I have to tell you I don't want you near her?"

"My brain is working fine but as I keep telling you it's my life and I will see who I want" I replied glaring at him.

"Leo...let's just go home now"

"Not yet I have to see Mandy home first"

"She has legs I am sure she can walk"

"Yeah but it's not safe for women in the dark in Scotland, they could get attacked"

"We are going home now I don't have time to mess around Leo"

"Look dad you only bother with me when you feel like it so for once I am not doing what you say first time"

"She is not family like us so come on"

"But what is family?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"People always say family is people you are blood related too...but they are so wrong"

"Leo...you are losing it"

"No dad you think because we are blood related it makes everything you did okay but it doesn't, family is a place where you belong, it's with the people who care about you and are always there for you"

"And how exactly did she do that?" he said glancing at Mandy

"Well for one she believed me when I said I didn't try to rape Bonnie...you didn't"

"I did believe you"

"Yeah right you couldn't even look at me like I was poison or something"

"I am not discussing this here, now get a move on"

"I said I have to walk Mandy home first"

"She isn't your girlfriend you don't need to walk her home"

"No she's my friend and I want her to be safe...I am not letting her walk around here by herself at this time"

"Look you don't have to do this Leo" dad said

"Do what? Look after my friend"

"Look I am not stupid her family obviously abandoned her and left her in that clinic, they don't care about her and neither should you"

I knew that would hurt. Mandy acted strong but she wasn't as strong as she seems and she missed her family. She bit her lip a little looking upset for a minute but dad didn't stop.

"And I am not surprised I don't have a daughter but if I did I wouldn't want her to be a freak like she is" he said looking at Mandy with disgust.

"And another thing she will never get out that clinic because she is too crazy to be trusted by herself" he shook his head I had had enough.

"Dad that is enough!" I said as Mandy took one look at me and ran out the police station clearly upset, though I don't blame her dad was been horrible.

"Good she has finally gone" my dad said cruelly

"Dad leave her alone! She hasn't done anything!" I said as he started to walk towards the door to lead us out

"No I need to check if she's okay" I said as I stormed out the prison looking for Mandy, I walked out looking for her which was not easy as it was so dark, I doubt she would try go home in her state so I started looking around the park near the prison.

"Mandy?" I said looking around for her, worried as it was quite dark right now, I carried on looking around and suddenly saw her sat on a swing crying ...and smoking.

When I first met Mandy she had been a big mess she smoked regularly like a lot of people did in the clinic as it helped her cope but I was worried about her health so she eventually agreed to stop with my persuasion, it had taken a long time as smoking was hard to give up as it was an addiction, but she eventually stopped all together and hadn't smoked in six months. I couldn't let her blow all that hard work because of something my father said so I walked up to her, not angry but concerned.

"Come on put that out" I said gently knowing getting angry wouldn't help, she didn't listen and puffed on it more.

"Mandy...we both know it's bad for your health and you don't smoke anymore"

"It helps..."

"I know but there is other ways to cope isn't there? Now I don't want you to take up smoking again it's not good for you so put it out please"

She looked at me for a minute then put it out and I smiled gently

"Good girl, now we are going to deal with this the sensible way...talking" I said as I sat on the swing next to her

Talking was something she wasn't used to doing when she was upset, she didn't have anyone to talk to which is where her problems started, she doesn't like to cry either she thinks she is ''too old'' but I told her that's ridiculous everyone cries.

"I ...your dad is right" she said as she put her head into her knees so I didn't see her cry though I could hear her. I gently touched her back to comfort her.

"Don't listen to him, he is pathetic, he likes to make other people feel bad about their lives, but I won't let him break you"

"But it's true my family left me in the clinic and never came to visit me" she said looking up and wiping her eyes.

"You don't need them, just like I don't need my family, you have me" I say smiling

"You will get sick of me like everyone else" she said sadly

"Don't be daft you are amazing" I said as I hugged her gently "I don't care what dad says as long as we are together we will be ok right?"

She nodded slightly leaning her head on my shoulder

"Smile?"

She smiled looking at me and I laughed

"That's my Mandy" I said "Right let's get you home but first the box of cigarettes please?" I said knowing she had more she took them out her pocket and gave them to me.

"Just don't chuck them I spend good money on them" she said smiling as I laughed


	12. Chapter 12 - 'Finding Me'

Chapter 12 – 'Finding Me'

When I got home from being in prison it was as if the whole experience had never happened, no one spoke about it and I was ignored as usual, dad didn't mention anything or apologise. I spend as less time at home as possible but I was struggling...they still hadn't gave me my pills back.

Mandy and I were planning to go get them after school on Tuesday, we were going to meet outside the gates and go from there as Mandy was better at persuasion than me so she would have an easier time getting them back than if I went by myself but that plan all changed on Monday night after school.

I got home from school and walked through the front door everything seemed normal and I didn't suspect anything until I walked into the kitchen for a snack and saw both my parents stood there waiting for me.

"Err hi mum, dad...are you two okay?" I asked looking at them

"We got a call from the police saying the pills they confiscated from you were ready to be picked up so we went to get them" my dad said

"And then when we get there we find out they are depression tablets" My mum said looking at me.

"Leo why have you got these?" my dad asked

"Because I have depression"

"Of course you don't you are a child you don't have depression"

"No mum you can get depression at any age" I replied..."I have been diagnosed

"Leo I suppose Mandy told you this but you aren't depressed" my dad stated

"Look I am depressed and Mandy told me nothing I know how I feel"

"This is because of this whole Bonnie thing...I know you have not forgiven yourself but once you do everything will be better for you" my mum said

"You don't get it do you...I bullied Bonnie because I was depressed, I did it as a cry for help...I do have depression and if you don't like that well tough"

I took the pills out my dad's hand and stormed out the door intending to go to the clinic.

* * *

Half an Hour later I was sat with Mandy as she broke off a bit of chocolate from the bar she had and handed it to me. She shook her head as I told her what had happened.

"What do they know? Your mum apparently had depression but was just crying over a man what does she even know about it"

"I don't know I can't wait till I am sixteen I am getting a job and moving out I swear down"

"You can come live with me!"

"I don't think I will be allowed Mands" I said laughing to myself as we were talking my dad stormed in, he must have followed me.

"THAT'S IT I HAVE HAD IT, GET IN THE CAR LEO"

A lot of the patients looked up as dad was shouting, they all looked confused as to what was happening, I ignored him but he was annoying Mandy.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO RELAX HERE"

One of the carers who heard the noise came into the living room to see what was going on

"Is everything okay in here?" the carer asked concerned

"NO IT'S NOT OKAY I HAVE TOLD MY BOY HEAPS OF TIMES I DON'T WANT HER NEAR THAT CRAZY GIRL" Mandy had had it she went for him but the carer held her back.

"Hey hey, no don't do that it will make things worse" she said placing her hands on her shoulders to hold her back and she sat down.

"Mr Fitzgerald, I suggest you leave, these young people are sensitive and I don't want them stressed"

"Not without my son" he said as he walked towards me and grabbed my arm pulling me up

"Ahh dad you're hurting me" I complained

"LEAVE HIM ALONE" Mandy screamed at him she was getting wound up and I knew that meant an attack was coming.

"Dad get off me..."

/Leaving it there what will happen? Will Mandy have an attack? Will Vaughan go too far or will this be the end of Leo and Mandy's friendship/


	13. Chapter 13 - Fights and Breakdowns

Chapter 13 – Fights, Threats and Breakdowns

Dad was not backing down I knew that he would not be going anywhere until I had agreed to go with him, but dad didn't realise I was a fighter too.

"I am not going with you dad I am staying here" I said folding my arms, if I just went with him now it would make him think everything that has happened is okay and I wouldn't let him think that.

"Dad just go you are upsetting everyone here"

"If you don't come home now you will never see Mandy again because I will call the police and tell them she tampered with Bonnie's statement"

"What that's a lie...all she did was get that lying scumbag to tell the truth"

"How did she know you were lying?"

"Because I know him unlike his own father" Mandy replied glaring at my dad

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COMMENT" He said angrily shouting

"Dad you know what your problem is you are jealous" I said

"Jealous of what?"

"You can't stand the fact you messed up with your son and know nothing about him, you can't stand the fact he prefers spending time with some nutter other than you!" Mandy said stating the obvious.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE" he screamed

"Then why can't you stand me seeing Mandy I know you said it's because she's 'dangerous' but that's crap we both know she has never touched me" I said growing angry.

"Because she's no good her family saw that why can't you"

It happened fast, Mandy started knocking things off the table and crying, she was having an attack because of the stress but the carer had left the room to check on another patient who was in a bad way, luckily I knew what to do I walked away from dad and stood near Mandy, not near enough for her to strike me if she decided to attack but near enough so she could see I was there for her.

"Mands...its ok...don't listen to him"

"Get away!" she shouted at me, some people might have been offended but I knew it wasn't personal she was trying to protect me in case she attacked.

"No I need to help you calm down first don't I?" I asked as I gently placed a hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her away from the table she was throwing things off.

"Leo..." she said trying to go back and carry on

"No we don't, that won't help matters will it, now Mandy I need you to calm down anywise you will need to go in the soft room and you don't like that do you?"

The soft room was the room patients were put in during very bad attacks it was for their own good so they couldn't hurt themselves or others. There was no furniture and the walls were padded so they couldn't bash their heads against it like some tend to do, Mandy hated it in their so explaining to her what would be the consequences beforehand would help her.

I felt her calming in my arms I smiled slightly just hoping dad would get the message he was taking things too far and leave but Adam, one of the best carers came in.

"Excuse me I think you better leave" he said seeing what state Mandy was in and sitting her down to calm down.

"Not without my son I won't"

"Frankly if this is how you act at home I am not surprised he is refusing to go with you, now please leave before I call the police you are trespassing"

He led him out I stayed comforting Mandy reassuring her everything would be okay it was dad against us and he would never win.


	14. Chapter 14 - Nowhere To Go

Chapter 14 – Nowhere to Go

After what had happened at the clinic with dad I knew I couldn't stay at home much longer. I had always planned to move out at sixteen but I don't think I can wait that long to get away from them. I was speaking to Mandy about it as I was visiting.

"Do you not have any family at all who can take you in?" she asked me

"Well I do but they all hate me as well, no one in the Fitzgerald family is normal"

"Come live at the clinic" Mandy said seriously

"I can't you know you have to be referred here plus they are short enough on places as it is" I replied sadly.

"There must be somewhere you can go...what about that school place?"

"The schoolhouse?" I asked curiously

"Yeah I mean pupils who have nowhere to go live there don't they? Just because your dad is head doesn't mean you can't"

"What if my parents don't agree to it though?"

"That doesn't matter they have a choice you live in the schoolhouse or move out and live on the street because you are miserable"

"I know but..." Mandy stood up and I stopped talking

"Come on we are going" she said putting on her jacket

"Where?"

"To the schoolhouse to see if you can stay there"

We walked the 10 minutes to the schoolhouse, it was evening so school was closed which means my family wouldn't see me, and we walked to the front door and knocked and stood next to each other as we waited. Soon Mrs Budgen opened the door smiling.

"Oh hello Leo are you alright? And who is your friend?" she asked not having met Mandy the time she was in school.

"This is Mandy my best friend from out of school; I really need to talk to you about maybe staying here?"

She looked at us both for a minute then nodded and invited us in

"Why don't you go sit down, would either of you like a drink or anything?"

Both of us shook our heads and sat down at the sofa she showed us too as she sat opposite us.

"Right Leo so why do you want to move here, what's up with been at home?"

"I am not getting on with the family, after the whole bullying thing and everything things have gotten worse, I also was...I also was diagnosed with depression and they don't believe me I don't think I am getting the care I need at home"

"When are you sixteen?" she asked me

"October" I replied

"Well until then your parents need to agree to let you live here"

I felt worried I didn't think they would agree but I nodded as she went to call them so we could discuss it. I smiled at Mandy as we waited for her to come back. Half an hour later my parents and Justin walked in.

"Why is she here this is for family only" dad said looking at Mandy

"SHE IS STAYING! I say angrily, Mrs Budgen didn't want a fight to break out so stepped in.

"Hey sit down and stop fighting" she said as we all sat around the living room as she explained why I had come to see her.

"That is ridiculous we have already told Leo there is nothing wrong with him" my mum said

"Look Leo needs care if he does have this illness, and I think it would be best if he stayed here at least for the time been"

After a lot of persuading my parents finally agreed, Mrs Budgen led me upstairs and walked through the door of my room.

"This will be your room Leo" she said "Oh and girls aren't allowed in boy's room so this is the last time you will be in here" she said to Mandy

"Can she still visit though? As long as you are there it doesn't matter right?" I asked

"Sure but she has to go home by nine on a school night, ten on a weekend"

"That's fine" Mandy said as she sat on the bed next to me "It's not bad here is it?"

"No" I smiled hoping things would finally start to look up


	15. Chapter 15 - Life At The Schoolhouse

Chapter 15 – Life At The Schoolhouse

The first morning I was there I woke up and walked down for breakfast. As I had arrived a bit later yesterday none of the other students had noticed I was there yet. When I walked down for breakfast Maggie who said it was alright to call her that asked me how my first night was.

"Yeah it was fine thank you" I smiled as I sat at a table and started to get some cereal. Rhiannon was sat at that table and she was friends with Bonnie.

"Are you serious?" she said as she saw me "What's he doing here?"

"Leo is unable to live at home right now so will be living here "

"But he is a bully!" she said angrily

"I remember someone else was a bully when they first came here too" Maggie said as it was a well known fact that Rhiannon had bullied Scout Allen.

"Yes I know but he only bullied Bonnie because she didn't fancy him"

"That's not true at all" I say starting to get annoyed, as we spoke there was a knock on the door. Maggie went to get it and came back with Mandy.

"Mands" I said hugging her, I didn't think she would come this early

"Sorry I wanted to check you were okay"

"I am fine, want to go out somewhere it is a Saturday?"

"Yes sure" she said as I heard Rhiannon snort and I turned around to look at her

"What's so funny?"

"Leo has a girlfriend, Leo has a girlfriend"

"We aren't dating she is my best friend"

"Yeah whatever" she said as she left and went upstairs

"Just ignore her" I said to Mandy as we walked out the door "So what do you want to do?"

"Want to go to the cinema? I want to see that new Cinderella" she said

"Errrr Disney princesses" I said

"Wait until they make a life action Frozen" she replied

"Okay sure why not, and if they make a life action frozen I am not going"

A few hours later we walked out the cinema, the film was supprisnely good and Mandy was talking about it, it was still only six so we decided to go back to the schoolhouse for a bit. We got in and sat in the living room and went on the playstation.

"This is impossible" Mandy complained as we played Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone on the Playstation and she got stuck on a level.

"No you Miss Ruskin just suck"

"No I don't!" she said as we messed around, Lisa Brown walked in as we were playing.

"Give us a go" she said snatching the controller out of my hand before I could say anything

"Hey give that back!" I said angrily pulling on the controller, Maggie walked in and saw

"Hey what is going on"

"Tell them Maggie they won't share! Said Lisa

"She is invading our private time" I responded

"Lisa you have to ask before just joining in and Leo you can't keep it to yourself"

"I will let her play once Mandy leaves"

"No now Leo that games system is for everyone"

That was one disadvantage to living here. Mandy and I couldn't get alone time but we shared with Lisa who soon go bored anyway and left. Mandy had to leave by ten on a weekend and Maggie came in at that time.

"Mandy love, it's time to go it's ten now"

"Okay thank you" she said as we both stood up

"I will see her home" I say "It's Dark"

I walk Mandy home then go back to the schoolhouse, Lenny passes me in the corridor and asks me if I am okay...I think the students are starting to come around.


	16. Chapter 16 - The Party

Chapter 16 – The Party

It was my sixteenth birthday on Saturday I didn't want to do anything but as Mandy said you are only sixteen once so I was having a mini party, it's only really going to be people from the clinic and Justin and Mandy anyway.

The day of the party I went to the clinic even earlier than normal to help set up, it was my birthday and I had found Mandy had brought me a PSP it was second hand but I loved it and hugged her. Soon enough the party was starting and everyone who was attending came down from their rooms as the doorbell rang I opened it to Justin and a bunch of people from school.

"What the!"

"Mate you need to have a proper party so I brought some people" he said as they all walked in, a lot of them had alcohol but I couldn't exactly throw them out now.

"Leo where did all these people come from" Mandy shouted over the noise as she sipped her drink, being an adult she could drink and I wasn't concerned Mandy wasn't much of a drinker she would only have one.

"Justin's doing" I said annoyed "I'm going to go upstairs and tell Adam just in case it gets out of hand" I said as she nodded and we walked different ways.

* * *

When I came down I walked over to Mandy she had finished her first drink and was starting her second so I knew something was wrong. She was wearing a buttoned up shirt and it was buttoned up strange so something had obviously happened as I had been gone.

"Mands...what you doing?" I ask her concerned

"I a.a..a...am en...e... ..t...t...the ...p...p..party" she stuttered clearly drunk, I took the drink she was holding out her hand.

"You have had more than enough" I said slightly angry as I hadn't wanted this party in the first place.

"Give it back right now Leo!" she said looking at me properly that's when I saw her eyes and my anger fell and concern grew. She was stoned.

"Oh god..." I said knowing she wouldn't take drugs off her own will I smelled the bottle and as I thought it smelled of not only alcohol but drugs. Someone has spiked her drink.

AN/ sorry for such a short chapter but next one will be eventful


	17. Chapter 17 - Worrying Words

Chapter 17 – Worrying Words

I took Mandy's hand gently I had to get her away from here; I walked to Justin who was dancing with some girl.

"Justin you have to stop this party right now!" I said

"What no way it's just get started!"

"Justin it's gone too far someone spiked Mandy's drink" I said quite loudly over the loud music

"HAHAHAH that's amazing" he said not taking it seriously

"Justin it's not funny! I said getting annoyed, Mandy tapped me on the shoulder.

"You okay Mandy?" I said not angry anymore now I knew it wasn't her fault

"I feel funny.." she said as she leaned her head on my shoulder, I looked back at Justin who didn't look like he was planning on helping, I was just thinking what to do when Rhiannon walked over.

"Leo is she ok?" she asked concerned as now that I lived in the schoolhouse we were friendly with each other

"Someone spiked her drink" I said "Rhiannon you have to get everyone out this party has gone too far"

"Ok I will do that you sit her down and stay with her" she said as she walked over and turned off the music.

"THIS PARTY IS OVER ALL OF YOU GET OUT" she shouted

"Erm I don't think we will" Scott said

"Want me to call the police and tell them you refuse to leave because I will"

Everyone moaned and tutted before walking out the door, I lead Mandy to some seats and gently sat her down, kneeling in front of her.

"Mandy it's Leo, do you know who I am?" I asked her softly

"Leo...my Leo...my friend Leo"

"That's right and I will look after you okay?"

"My eyes..Are funny"

"You were drugged sweetie it will go back to normal"

Rhiannon walked over and started to talk to her too explaining who she was, Mandy had never met her before but the words she said were worrying.

"Yo...you won't hit me will you" she asked which was a strange thing to ask and it took Rhiannon of guard.

"Erm no why would I hit you"

"I ...bad...again"

I had never heard her say anything like that before even during breakdowns she had never said anything like that and I didn't like it.

"Mandy...who hit you..."

"Mum...she will be angry again"

"Mandy...you don't see your mum anymore remember?"

I was just about to ask her more when Adam one of the carers came down having heard what had happened, he started to help me get her upstairs to sleep it off so I didn't have time to ask her more. After helping her into her room and into bed I left not been able to stop the feeling of dread and worry.


	18. Chapter 18 - Mandy's Past

Chapter 18 – Mandy's Past

I got to the clinic early the next day. It was actually a school day but I was so worried I couldn't wait until after to talk to her. I knocked on her door she was awake and looked shocked when I walked in.

"Leo...I didn't expect you till later"

"I know but I had to see you now"

"Well actually I am glad you are here I need painkillers my head is banging"

"Well see last night Mands someone spiked your drink so that's either from the drink or drugs"

"WHAT! Who did that?"

"I don't know Mands but I will find out and when I do they will be sorry"

"Aww my little geek"

"Yeah actually Mands I need to talk to you about something important"

"Oh god what did you steal? Did you kill Justin by accident?"

"What? No!" I said not able to help the laughter at her suggestions

"Then what is it?"

"Do you remember anything of last night?"

"No...Last I remember was talking to you before you came up here"

"Listen you said something last night and it worried me.."

"What did I say?" she asked looking at me confused

"Y...Rhiannon came over...she was helping me with you to keep you calm"

"Oh ..Where are you going with this"

"Y..You said to her...don't hit me... and then when I asked you about it you said your mum"

_Mandy's POV_

I couldn't let Leo know about my childhood I had to convince him that I was just saying any old thing because of the state I was in.

"That's an odd thing to say I must have been hallucinating" I laughed to myself

"Mandy...I know you to well I know when you are been serious or when you are messing around so tell me now what happened"

I looked at the burns on my wrist. I had told Leo that I had done them myself which he believed as people with mental health problems tend to harm themselves in one way or another, I had not thought about my past in a long time and I hadn't wanted Leo to find out.

"Well...my childhood wasn't the best"

"I know but...she hit you"

"It was when I was fourteen...that's when she first did it"

"That's strange most people it would be when they are much younger"

"I know I don't know what sparked her off...maybe she started then as it was easier to hide"

"Easier?"

"Well you know when you are a child people are always around you watching over you but as you get older they stop doing that as much, if she had done it when I was younger someone was bound to notice, Anyway I think it was her bloke who got her into it...she had a different one every week usually, some were okay, some were creepy, one of them was violent he hit me first though he only hit me once then they broke up so he didn't get to do it again"

"Why did he do it?"

"Because I hadn't cleaned my room...after they broke up mum started on me...she said I was bad"

"You weren't bad"

"Yes I was"

"What did you do?"

"I didn't clean my room, didn't get straight A's in school, spend too much time on the computer, had to be told to do homework, was late for school"

"Mandy that doesn't mean you are bad" he said sitting on the bed next to me "Everyone does that"

"Then I started to get ill..." I carried on..."That made mum more angry she eventually dumped me here"

"Well at least you aren't getting hit anymore, where was your dad during all this?"

"I...I don't have one...I have never met him he was gone long before I was born"

"Don't you want to find him"

"Not really...I don't need my family anymore" I said hiding my wrists knowing soon he would realise

"Wait them burns...did she do them?"

"Yeah with her coffee...she only started the burns a few months before I came here though"

"I bet that's what triggered it...you know your illness people say something has to trigger it before it starts to show"

"Exactly" I said

"Well you have me I will protect you"

"Thanks Leo" I said cuddling him feeling better my secret was out


	19. Chapter 19 - Flooding Back

A/N \- Sorry for a short chapter today. Next one will be longer.

Chapter 19 – Flooding Back

I found it weird Mandy was so calm about everything that had happened she acted as if she didn't even care. I asked some of the carers and they said she had blocked it out as it made it easier to cope with. Mandy was acting ...well normal.

"Leo why don't we watch that DVD we have been meaning to watch for ages"

"Yeah...Mandy are you okay?"

"Of course why wouldn't I be?"

"You just revealed you were abused..."

"Yeah I am over it" she said shrugging

"You can't just get over it..."

"Well I am"

I knew she was in denial, she thought if she didn't show it affected her it didn't happen but I was sure doing that wasn't healthy and it would make it worse when she realised...I wasn't wrong.

* * *

The next day was Tuesday, I went to school like normal and nothing seemed unusual, my family was getting on my nerves, the students were avoiding me and I was alone so nothing was strange. I went to my first lesson of the day History and then my second Science when I came out it was break time and I made my way down the corridor.

I was just getting my books ready for my next class when all of a sudden Mandy came running down the corridor in tears.

"Mands?"

"I...s...she's going to do it again" she cried holding onto me

Loads of people I realised were staring at us, first someone was crying into my arms; second it was someone who wasn't a pupil. I led Mandy away into the library and sat down as it was quiet like always.

"Mands"

"I...Lily came in my room ...she realised it was messy...she's going to hit me isn't she!

"No No, Lily is a carer and a lovely one at that she would never do that, it isn't normal for someone to hit you Mandy, what your mum did was wrong"

"I ...It keeps coming back...when she pushed me into the table ...and slapped my face and ..."

She was panicking her breathing was becoming abnormal I knew I had to calm her down before she had an attack; I touched her gently on the arm.

"I know you're life has not been easy and I know that you can never forget what you're mum did to you...but I can promise you one thing"

"What's that?" she said looking at me still in tears

"No one will hit you again I will make sure of it"

"Thanks Leo" she said as she carried on crying at everything that had happened to her

"No Problem Mandy you will do the same for me"

She nodded as all the pain from over the years came out.


	20. Chapter 20 - Pain Never Goes

A/N -  I know I am uploading a lot of chapters but I haven't had internet in a week so I have being catching up on my story enjoy :)

Chapter 20 – Pain never Goes

I walked into Mandy's room on that cold winter day in November. I knew straight away she was upset, she wasn't as hyper as normal and wiped tears from her face, thinking she was remembering her abuse I walked in and put my arm around her slowly, she didn't say a word but leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Hey you, what's the matter mm?"

She put her head more into my shoulder, which she normally did when she was scared or worried.

"It's my brother..."

"Angus?" I asked now knowing everything about her family life, I stroked her hair gently as it fell down my arm.

"Yes...he's getting married"

"Oh well that's good isn't it?"

"Yes he send me an invite but... I can't go"

"Why not? I know you haven't seen him in years but he invited you he obviously still cares about you"

"But my dad will be there...he still hates me.."

This was the bit I didn't know about, she always said her dad hated her and that's why she left to go live with her mum but she never said why.

"Mandy...I am sure he doesn't hate you"

"He does...trust me" she says still with her head on me

"Why do you think that you are his daughter"

"Daughter's don't do what I did"

"And what did you do? You can tell me Mands"

"I acted up a lot, overdose, drinking, staying out late"

"As most teenagers do"

"Most teenagers don't cause their dad's girlfriends to leave town though do they?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"My parents had split I was cool with that and I would have being cool with him dating someone new, but he just let's this women I barely know move into our house without letting us get to know her"

"What was her name?"

"Grace...she was a traveller, had a daughter my age Josie"

"So you two didn't get on?"

"No it was me, I wouldn't give her a chance I was constantly starting fights with my dad, I was bad mouthing her, I wouldn't let her try to get to know me, I was upset and scared I guess I didn't know this women"

"So then she left?"

"I started a fight with her daughter, I called Grace a tart, I kept pushing her away so she left, she went back to her family and left, dad never really recovered he loved her"

"So you think he hates you?"

"He does...he has always blamed me, then one day we had a huge fight and I left to live with my mum and then the whole abuse thing and I ended up here"

"Mandy he doesn't hate you.."

"Yeah right...don't lie I ruined his chance of happiness" she said lifting her head and wiping a tear obviously full of regret.

"You were young, and you are right you won't just take it and be happy I mean look how well thing went with my dad and Allie"

"You didn't cause that though"

"Yes well I don't have a big mouth like some people" I laughed trying to cheer her up "Mandy I know speaks her mind and if she doesn't like something she tells you in most harsh way possible, and that is my Mandy"

"And break my family in process"

"Hey you don't talk like that, now we are going to go to this wedding and we are going to talk to your dad to and if he doesn't want to know that's his lost because I tell you something he has one amazing daughter"

She looked at me still looking looking down but slightly brighter

"Hey where's that pretty smile? Show me it"

"I don't want to" she said keeping her head down

I tickled her knowing she was ticklish and couldn't resist it

"NAAA stop it" she said not able to stop the smile, I smiled at her

"There's my favourite smile" I said


	21. Chapter 21 - Kirsty

A/N - I have decided to make this story a crossover with River City where Mandy was named Kirsty. I thought this way she would have a more intresting past.

Chapter 21 –Kirsty

The wedding was on a nice day in January, it was a Saturday and I was currently at the clinic as Mandy panicked about every little detail. I had asked her if she wanted me to come she had said she wouldn't go without me and I couldn't bear to say no.

"Come on Mandy we will be late" I said adjusting my tie in her bedroom mirror as I waited for her to finish getting ready and come out the bathroom. I had rented this suit for the day and I felt werid having never worn one.

"I am not coming out I look stupid"

"Come on Mands I know you look fine"

I heard a sigh and then the door opened, Mandy was stood there with her hair down and wearing a navy blue dress. It was odd for me she wasn't really a dress girl, I had never seen her in one.

"Don't say anything!" she said not looking happy

"I wasn't going to...you look nice"

"I look silly, I don't do dresses but Adam says I can't go to a wedding in jeans"

"Well he is right it won't look very formal, seriously you look lovely though very different"

"You look like your dad in that suit!"

"Hey you, don't take the mickey" I said laughing as we walked outside, Adam was taking us to the wedding we got in the car and she smirked at me.

"What you smirking at?"

"You in a suit"

"Well you are in a dress" I said smiling at her "God Amanda you are such a girl"

"Call me that name again I will show you how 'ungirly' I can be"

I laughed loving winding her up, she hated that name and most people didn't get of easy if they called her it. We sat in silence the remaining of the journey as she usually got quiet when nervous.

* * *

Soon we had arrived and we stepped out the car, Mandy's family like mine were not religious so it wasn't a church wedding, it was a lovely venue, she grabbed my arm tightly but I didn't say anything, we started to walk looking around. We had only walked a few spaces when an women walked up to us, talking to Mandy.

"Hello Kirsty, how long has it being?"

I gave Mandy a odd look, this women was obviously mistaken for someone else she looked at the women.

"Kirsty? I think you must have me confused with someone else my name is Mandy"

"Don't be daft I remember you as a wee one, coming to my shop buying stuff, lovely girl too always very polite and quiet"

I couldn't help bursting into laughter, Mandy quiet!? The women looked at me as I laughed

"Sorry I just...the thought of Mandy a quiet shy girl is too funny" I replied

"My name is Scarlett, I knew Kirsty for years and I never forget a face"

"Well sorry I think you have come on Leo" Mandy said dragging me away

I turned my head and looked at the women wondering where she had got her idea from. We carried on walking as Mandy started looking around for her brother, she wanted to see him before the service began. She was still holding onto my arm tightly as she looked for a familiar face. She looked over the crowds of people looking for her brother she turned to me to say something when we heard someone shout.

"KIRSTY!"

We looked over as an man older than Mandy ran over and hugged her tight, I stood watching confused as to why people were calling her by this other name.

"Oh sis I am so glad you came, I have missed you so much"

"I miss you too" she smiled at him then looked at me

"Oh Angus this is Leo Fitzgerald, he's my best friend"

Angus put his hand out to shake mine, I shook it and smiled.

"Nice to meet you Angus, Mandy has told me loads about you"

"Mandy? He said looking confused, I was about to ask him about this Kirsty person but Mandy interrupted me.

"That's a nickname he calls me" she said not giving me a chance to ask, I looked at her and she shook her head as if to say not here. She looked back at Angus and smiled.

"I can't believe you are getting married"

"I can't believe you are twenty two"

She smiled a little then put her head down

"Is dad here yet?"

"Yes... you will probably see him soon..."

"And is mum coming?"

"No she is still in spain, I asked her but she said she couldn't get away"

"Oh"

"Anyway I have to go finish getting ready see you later" he said kissing her cheek and then he went, I smiled at him then looked at Mandy.

"What is going on?" I asked her she looked lost for words.


	22. Chapter 22 - The Wedding

Chapter 22 – The Wedding  


_Mandy's POV_

I knew I should have told Leo about my past life before we came here. He kept eyeing me suspiciously knowing something was going on, I tried to act normal well as normal as possible for me but I was nervous about seeing my dad and that made me tenser.

I didn't see him at first Leo and I had our backs to him, I turned around and saw him and he looked up and saw me, I didn't know whether to walk to him or walk away but I stayed still when I saw him coming towards us.

"Kirsty" he said with a smile as he kissed my cheek, we looked at each other for a minute then I fell into his arms as he we hugged tightly. He kissed the top of my head and then finally I pulled away.

"Dad...I was scared you would still hate me"

"I don't hate you Kirst, you're my daughter I know we left it on a bad note and I am sorry about that"

"I am sorry about Grace"

"No don't be you were right I bought a stranger you didn't know into the house she could have done anything for all you knew"

"But now you are all alone"

"Actually I am not, I have met a new women Jennifer"

"Oh and is that working out for you?"

"Yes it has being six months and I did it properly this time, let Angus get to know her he really likes her"

"That's great dad, I am really happy for you can I meet her?"

"Soon, let's take things slow yeah?"

I smiled at him, I really was happy for him this time and he seemed brighter than I remember he looked at me then finally noticed Leo.

"Who is your fellow then?"

"DAD! It's not like that; he is my best friend Leo"

Leo smiled at him and offered him his hand, he shook it smiling

"Hope you looking after my girl"

"Of course I am Mr Ruskin" he said, I hit my head with my palm as he had called him the wrong name.

"No it's Mr Lindsay" my dad said not fazed by it

He nodded and soon the ceremony was starting so we all took our seats I could feel Leo's eyes on me.

"Nice place aye Kirsty?" he whispered

I looked at him as he turned his head forward to watch the ceremony. I knew he was angry at me and didn't understand what was going on.

After the wedding and the photos Leo had barely spoken a word to me, my stomach was tight as I felt I had lost my best friend, my brother came up with Zinnie, his new wife, and my dad came up with Jennifer who spoke to me for a few minutes and said we can talk properly later, I was quiet and didn't feel well, I felt sick. I took Leo's arm to hold but he pulled out of my grip I felt tears falling and I ran off.

"What did you do?" I heard Angus say to him

"Nothing" Leo replied

I got to an Alleyway and started crying a lot, it's lucky I still refused to wear makeup as it would have ran, I leaned against the wall not being able to help the sobs. I know Leo had a right to be angry but it still hurt, I heard a noise near me and looked up and saw Angus. I looked at him wiping my eyes.

"I am fine; it's your wedding go back to them"

He leaned against the wall next to me

"Not when my wee sister is in tears, I will kill that Leo"

"Don't it isn't his fault it's mine I did something stupid"

"What did you do?"

"You know the whole incident on the roof, and I was told to change my name for my own safety?"

"Yes I remember"

"I changed it to Mandy that's why he was calling me it but...I didn't tell him about my real name or anything so of course now he realises I lied he's annoyed"

"Oh Kirsty, why wouldn't you tell him?"

"I was going to after he got to know me but no time seemed right it always seemed weird coming out with 'Oh hey I changed my name I am really Kirsty sorry forget to tell you, plus he liked me from the first time we met I didn't want him to leave"

"And now it's all come back on you?"

"Yes and he is going to hate me and he is the best friend I have ever had"

"He won't hate you, I only really saw you together for a few seconds but I can tell that boy adores you"

"Yes he is amazing, gentle, kind, funny, and he doesn't see my illness he sees me does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense, but you have to tell him he will understand Kirsty"

I smiled and hugged him having missed my brothers comforting.


	23. Chapter 23 - The Truth

Chapter 23 – The Truth

_Mandy's POV_

Adam came to pick us up, he could sense the tension as neither of us were talking, The journey back was horrible in silence and Leo wouldn't look at me he just kept looking out the window. When we got back to the clinic we went to my room.

"I am going home" he said going towards the door

"No Leo don't" I replied

"Why not Mandy, Kirsty whatever your name is"

"Leo don't be like that"

"Why not? I should have listened to my parents they were right you were messing me around all this time"

"I wasn't, you are my best friend I just...I didn't know how to tell you I thought you wouldn't like me anymore"

"Well tell me now or I am leaving and not coming back, I mean it Mandy"

I looked at him, he was serious I knew he was hurting a lot, Leo hated being lied to. I nodded and patted the space on the bed next to me so we can talk.

"Okay I will tell you everything"

"Go on"

"Yes, my real name is Kirsty, my birth name is Kirsty Lindsay, I lived in Shieldinch with my dad, and my brother, my mum was involved in my life but I didn't live with her full time"

"So how did you end up here?"

"After the whole thing I told you about with Grace, my dad and I had a huge fight and told me to get out, so I went to live with my mum full time, anyway the abuse stuff happened but that's not why I ended up here"

"Then what is?"

"I was 18 when I started to get ill, I was in sixth form and at the time I was in a bad way, there was this girl who I was friends with named Mollie, she had a crush on this boy called Mason"

"I don't understand why that matters"

"I am getting to it, anyway one day we decided to bunk of school and she asked Mason to meet us, we were going to just mess around have a few drinks you know, we went to this abandoned warehouse we knew about as we knew no one would find us there, as I said I was in a bad way so I left the other two and went onto the roof"

"The roof!?" why did you do that?"

"I don't know, it was sunny and warm which is rare for us so I wanted to feel the air look at the sights, anyway I had only being there a few minutes when Mason followed me up, I thought it would be a good opportunity to tell him about my friends crush"

"So what happened?"

"I told him and he said it was me he liked I was going to say something and he started kissing me so I pushed him to tell him to lay off, he still didn't get the message so I thumped him in the face and he got a nose bleed, and some blood fell on my top, anyway I looked up and he was stood near the edge I told him to be careful or he will fall, I turned around to see Mollie struggling to get up as she was never a good climber. I was only turned around for a split second but I heard this noise, a loud thump. I turned back around and didn't see Mason, I ran to the edge and saw him lying on the floor, and I can't tell you if he fell or jumped because I don't know"

"That's awful but why does that mean you had to change your name?"

"When Mollie finally got up she walked to the edge she saw him lying on the floor and the blood on my top, she knew I had being attacking people for no reason recently because I was still undiagnosed at this point and my emotions were all over the place, I remember she said "You pushed him" then before I could respond she ran down to check on him, I followed he was still breathing but she got out her phone and called the police she said he had being pushed of the roof and gave my name. I ran off as fast as I could to my mum's house, I packed a bag quickly and then took some savings money, I went to the train station, I didn't care where I was going I just got the next train there was which was Greenock obviously. Then I stayed in hotels for a bit and gave my new name 'Mandy' don't ask me why I picked it I don't know it was the first thing I thought of, then I went to live in a hostel for a bit, but they made me see a doctor because I was always attacking the others who lived there that's where a doctor diagnosed me and then I ended up here.

"W...wow...that's quite a story"

"That's why I changed my name, the police knew me they wanted to question me and when they know my mental state they won't let me off"

"I don't hate you I think you are the bravest person I know" he said as he hugs me I smiled cuddling into him as I missed his hugs.

"So Kirsty...Mandy..."

"Mandy to you, I don't think I can get used to you calling me Kirsty"

"Good because I can't get used to calling you it, and don't worry I will keep you safe"

"I thought I had lost you"

"Don't say that, I love you too much to just leave"

"I love you too...not in that way"

"Yeah I know it's alright, Mandy?"

"Yes?"

"What was Kirsty like? Did she dress the same? Was she bad?"

I looked at him with a smile "You will never know"


	24. Chapter 24 - Trapped

Chapter 24 – Trapped

_Mandy's POV_

Since I had told Leo everything about my past life things were back to normal, if not better than before. That morning as Leo was at school I had a meeting with the carers to establish how I was getting on since I had being admitted. It had being nine months since I was admitted to the clinic, I walked into the meeting room and sat down, Adam my favourite carer was there as well as two others, Marisol and Amy. The head carer was also there his name was David, he wasn't seen much in the clinic as normally he dealt with paperwork or residents who needed a lot of looking after, I felt nervous about what they will say.

"Right Amanda let's get this started" David said in a formal way

"Please don't call me that name, it's Mandy"

"Okay, that's fine, Mandy let's have a look at your progress"

I nod watching him with loads of documents, wondering what was written on them.

"Okay so first formalities, you were admitted here nine months ago, and that is because you have Borderline Personality Disorder?"

"Yes that's right" I said as he asked me my date of birth and other stuff

"And you take Antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilisers?"

"Yes that's correct"

"Good right let's see how you have being doing"

"So when you first came here you were violent, you smoked and self harmed and you took a while to settle you would often run away"

I nod slowly hoping this wasn't going to be turned into some sort of lecture.

"Now as I am aware you don't smoke or self harm anymore?"

"No my friend found out he made me get help which I am grateful for"

"But you still are violent sometimes?"

"That isn't her illness though that's just Mandy!" Adam said laughing

"Well you have improved a lot since you met this friend and you are getting better, I am very pleased with your progress "David said smiling.

I smiled back. I knew this was down to Leo; he gave me a reason to get better and sort myself out so I did, though I still have a way to go. After the meeting I went out. I was allowed out by myself at times now because I wasn't a danger to myself or others, I knew school was nearly finished I promised Leo I would tell him as soon as I could how the meeting had gone. I looked around and as I suspected the school was empty on the outside as everyone was still in lesson. I sed Leo a quick text saying I would meet him at the library and then I walked toward the school and sneaked in to wait for Leo, I started to look for the library but I had only being in the school once and I had followed Leo around that day so I was lost and we had not gone to the library that day anyway.

I was walking around waiting for Leo when all of a sudden a loud noise was heard, a loud familiar siren noise. I knew it was the fire alarm and I rolled my eyes as I knew Waterloo Road and how people set the alarms of in science class or something, I heard footsteps coming toward me so I hid in the nearest storeroom and listened at the door. I was shocked I could hear a lot of footsteps and they weren't stopping. I opened the door a fraction but enough to see the teachers leading pupils out. I then realised it was a fire drill so the school was being evacuated. I sighed and turned the light on sitting down waiting until I could go out.

After a while the school was silent, deadly silent. I walked to the door and opened it to walk out; I got in the corridor and saw it. Fire. It hadn't being a drill the whole of the corridor I was in was in flames, I could feel the heat I ran back in the storeroom and slammed the door with my back against it wondering how I was going to get out.

_Leo's POV_

This was a real fire. Half the school was in flames and people were in a panic. Teachers were rushing around making sure all pupils were accounted for and pupils were watching the school in fear. I knew Mandy might be waiting for me so I got my phone out to text her telling her not to come near the school and I will be late as there is a fire. I saw I already had a text that I presumed would say she was waiting for me. I opened it reading it quick and then again and again. It said:

'Leo meeting went well , I am bored so I will come to the school, I will wait for you in the library' Mandy x'

I looked around in a panic for her, pushing through crowds of people and hoping she had disguised herself as a pupil. I couldn't see her anywhere, I rang her but it went to voicemail so I tried again. Now I was more worried she always answered her phone. I looked toward the school. I ran towards it only to have Justin grab my arm.

"What you doing?" he shouted a bit over the loud siren

"Mandy's in there I have to find her" I replied

"Why would Mandy be in there?" he asked looking confused. I had no time to explain Mandy could be trapped, I pulled my arm from his grip and ran towards the burning school. Justin could see what I was doing.

"LEO NO" he shouted making everyone turn around, I got to the doors and ran in just as Miss Mulgrew realised what I was doing and ran to stop me. I could hear the panic from outside at a pupil running in but I didn't care I had to find Mandy.

_Mandy's POV_

I couldn't stay locked in a cupboard all day I had to get out, I walked out the door surrounded by fire. I didn't even know my way around I coughed swallowing the smoke and couldn't see anything other than the flames looking for anywhere I could escape from. My breathing was getting hard and I held my chest as the siren rang in my ears making them hurt. After about 10 minutes I knew there was no way out I was trapped, I got out my phone to text Leo to tell him I was inside when a piece of burning wood fell on me. In pain I fell to the ground.


	25. Chapter 25 - Worry

Chapter 25 - Worry

The moment I walked into the school I could feel the smoke catching in my chest. I held it looking for any sign of Mandy.

"Mandy where are you?" I said hoping she would give some indication to where she was. I was worried now and running out of places to look. I walked through the fire filled corridors I could feel my skin burning but I didn't care about that right now. I was making my way to the library where I presumed she was near, but when I got to the science corridor the fire was even worse than before.

I then spotted Mandy lying on the floor. I had no idea why she was in this part of the school but she was trapped some wood had fallen on her. I ran forward quickly. The wood was red hot and I could feel my hands burning as I pulled it off her but I didn't care about my burning skin right now. I turned her over to face me she wasn't conscious and I could see she had some bad burns, I knew I had to get her out.

I picked her up gently, I wasn't very strong but I held onto her tightly. There was nothing for it we were trapped I would have to run through the fire. I ran as fast as I could feel the heat against my skin and wanting to scream but I didn't. I kept running only aiming to get out. Once I was past that part of the corridor the fire wasn't as bad but I didn't stop until I was at the front door. I opened it with one hand holding Mandy with the other and fell to my knees on the steps, unable to breathe and choking from the smoke I had inhaled but I didn't let go off her.

"LEO" I heard my mum shout as she ran toward me frantic as did my dad and Justin.

She hugged me as I struggled to get my breathing back to normal. I saw paramedics which had now arrived coming toward me.

"Help her first please..." I choked out knowing she needed more care than me.

They took one look at her, asked her name then quickly put her on a stretcher taking her to the ambulance. I jumped up.

"I need to come with you" I said

One of the paradmedics and my parents said no but I said I refused to get help if I couldn't go with them; they gave in and let me go on the journey with them. I looked at her properly now. I could see burns. I bit my lip in worry. I wanted to ask if she will be okay but I didn't want to hear the answer.

When we got to the hospital they rushed her away and I was taken to another room to get checked out. My breathing was getting easier now I wasn't in the scene with the fire anymore. I had burns on my hands from where I had pulled the wood of Mandy and some on my arms. They hurt a lot but I wasn't going to complain as I would do it again, as the nurse bandaged me up I kept thinking the worse.

"Is Mandy okay? How bad is she burned?"

"Let's focus on your burns first"

"NO ...let's not I don't care about mine, where is she tell me!"

She wouldn't tell me anything just told me to wait outside. I put my head in my hands thinking the worst but I wouldn't leave the hospital until I had seen her. I looked at my bandaged hands and then started to cry, from worry and shock. I then remembered I hadn't called anyone yet to tell them, first I called her dad and then the clinic each equally as worried. I waited for news still in shock.

I was sat there for ages and then I heard someone calling my name, I saw two carers from the clinic, I began to explain everything to them. All three of us waited and what after what felt like hours a nurse came out.

"Tell me honestly how is she?"

"She's breathing but she's not awake yet and she does have some bad burns"

"Can I see her?"

"Okay, one at a time for now" the carers nodded telling me to go first so I followed the nurse to her room.

I walked in she was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. I noticed she had a lot of bandages on her arms and I was wondering just how bad the burns were.

"You will be okay now I am here" I said stroking her face


	26. Chapter 26 - Pain

Chapter 26 – Pain

I sat with Mandy for a while just watching her. I smiled because as long as she was alive we could cope with anything else that might affect her. After a while I left letting the carers go in one at a time, they each stayed with her for a bit and then asked the nurse some questions, after filling out some paperwork and knowing she wasn't going to be let out the hospital tonight they left having to get back to work.

After they left I went back in to sit with her, I held her hand gently. I don't know how the fire had started, but I don't like to think of her scared in that fire by herself. My hands were hurting as I held hers but I didn't let go off her.

After a while of sitting with her she began to wake slowly. I smiled as she opened her eyes and looked at me and then she started looking around not realising where she was as she had last being in the school.

"Hey sleepyhead" I said

She tried to sit up then flinched because of the pain

"Don't move, stay still"

"What happened...I remember a fire...and I was trapped and then wood fell on me"

"I realised you were inside so I went to rescue you, luckily I did in time"

She looked at my bandaged hands then at me

"You went in a fire to rescue me?"

"Of course I did, you were trapped inside"

"You could have waited for fire fighters"

"There wasn't time"

She started crying I was worried it was because of the pain I touched her arm gently.

"Hey you what's with the tears?"

"I just can't believe you would go in a fire to save me"

"Of course I would I love you, you know that"

She smiled and went to hug me then lay back down in pain

"Oww that wasn't wise, Leo...your hands are burned"

"It's okay they don't hurt much" I lied

"Did I get burned...is that what the pain is?" she asked

"Yes..That's what the nurse said...I haven't seen them"

She was just about to ask me something when the nurse came in and saw she was awake she gave her some painkillers.

"How bad are they?" she asked her. The nurse looked down and didn't answer the question.

"Oi I asked a question, don't just avoid it" she replied getting annoyed

"Just tell her, she is going to see them eventually anyway"

"Ok fine, you got burned on your back badly, we can do skin grafts and other treatment but right now it will be painful"

She looked a bit shocked and looked at me I smiled at her letting her know it was okay

"I am sure your boyfriend will support you"

"Oh he's not...weren't not"

"Oh sorry...I just thought...you can see the burns when you are ready" she said before walking off to the next patient.

Later her dad and brother arrived, Mandy smiled and spoke to them but I could tell she was upset as well. They were staying in a hotel near here as they didn't want to be so far from her. We all spoke for hours and I was glad for the opportunity to get to know the family better.

"That is no way Mandy" I said laughing at some pictures Angus showed me of how Mandy used to dress, she glared at me.

"I was young and stupid I thought I looked nice"

I smirked at her and laughed trying to imagine her dressed that way which made me laugh more.

"It's not funny"

"I am sorry but it's hilarious, the headband kills me"

She glared at me but smiled trying not to laugh

"If I wasn't in this bed I would kill you Leo Fitzgerald" she said smiling


	27. Chapter 27 - Breaking

**Chapter 27 – Breaking**

_Mandy's POV_

It was late. Past eleven and Leo had just gone home. He wanted to stay but I told him I was so tired I would sleep the whole night anyway which was true I was tired. It was Tuesday exactly a week after the fire. Things were more or less back to normal. School was back though the damages were bad in some areas so they were being repaired, Leo still worried constantly about me though that's not anything new. My dad and Angus were still in Greenock as they had both got time of work, they planned to stay another few weeks which I was grateful for.

It was late I knew no one would be checking who was awake because everyone here is adults so they can go to bed when they want. I closed my door. We weren't allowed locks on the door for safety but I got a chair and put it against the door. Carers had to knock before entering if a door is closed but patients usually forgot that rule and just walked in.

I walked to the mirror in my room, I hadn't seen the burns yet I couldn't bring myself to do it but I knew I couldn't keep putting it off. I slowly lifted my top up pulling it over my head and then put it on my bed. I stood there in my bra for a few minutes to brace myself, and then I took a deep breath and turned around so I could see the burns.

They were worse than I thought. They were all down my back, red and raw skin. I touched them gently with my hand feeling the scaly feeling and wincing at a slight bit of pain. I couldn't bear to look at them any longer; I felt my eyes filling with tears as I turned to grab my t-shirt and pulled it back on then got in my bed throwing the covers over me.

_Leo's POV_

I got to the clinic early. It had just gone nine and I made my way to Mandy's room. I knocked on the door and was told to come on. Mandy's dad and her brother were already there looking worried as Mandy was lying in her bed looking miserable.

"Kirsty...is it pain?" her dad asked touching her arm gently

She didn't say anything. Mandy's shuts down if she doesn't want to talk about something and won't talk about anything until she is ready. Her dad was trying I will give him that he was talking to her gently trying to pry it out of her but she wasn't talking. Her dad sighed and got up.

"She has being like this since we got here, she won't talk to me"

"Don't take it personal she shuts down when she wants to hide something she will tell you when she's ready"

Angus was talking to her now, he was saying they cared and wanted to help her but she was just getting upset. She looked at me as tears fell but this made her family more worried.

"Come on talk to us Kirsty...we just want to help" her dad practically begged

"You can't help okay!" she replied angrily

"We can try to if you let us" Angus said

She got out the bed standing up she was crying bad now and I was worried she was going to have a breakdown. I didn't want her to have one and scare them off as it can get bad sometimes; I was just about to walk to her when she spoke.

"You can't help me because...I...I look like a freak and no one can fix that" she said before walking out the room I looked at the others.

"I think she has seen the burns..." I said

"Let me go talk to her" her dad said getting up

"No don't let her calm down she will just get more upset if you try talking to her now, she's in the clinic she can't come to harm"

He nodded and went and sat back down as the three of us sat in silence thinking over what she had said.


	28. Chapter 28 - Freak

Chapter 28 – Freak

We gave her half an hour to cool down and then decided we needed to go find her. We walked out her room and down to the main living room area hoping she would be there but she wasn't.

"Are you looking for Mandy?" A carer named Matt asked

"Yes, she was upset earlier have you seen her?"

"Seen her? She came down here and I could tell she was upset and annoyed and then one of the residents Rachel came down and she punched her"

"She what!?" for no reason?"

"I couldn't see any reason"

"So is she in the soft room?"

"Yes she was really out of control I haven't seen her like that in a long time, I will let you know when she is out"

"Thank you" I said feeling worried we sat down to wait for her

* * *

A while later the carer came in to tell us she had being let out the room. He said she was panicking and upset as she can't stand the soft room and said she had gone outside as soon as she had got let out.

In the clinic they are allowed out the back whenever they want. There is a garden there but it's fenced off so they can't actually escape, Mandy likes to go there to think and calm down, I got up thanked Matt and then we went in the garden.

We saw her sat on the grass; it was a nice dry day. She had her knees to her chest and was holding her legs; I walked to her and sat next to her as the others followed. She didn't look at me as I sat down, she had red eyes from crying and her knuckles were bruised from punching Rachel.

"Mandy?"

She didn't look at me she just stared into space but I kept talking

"So...you saw the burns then?"

She started picking pieces of the grass and twirling them around her fingers

"Yes...I looked at them last night after you left" she said looking at the grass

"Well you aren't a freak Mandy"

"How do you know you haven't seen them?"

"I know because you are beautiful inside and out, you are amazing and burns don't change that"

"Yes they do, I know you don't but everyone else judges people on appearance they don't care about your personality"

"Well if they do you don't need people like that in your life, you need people that love you despite your flaws"

She raised her eyebrows at me not knowing what to say her dad started to talk

"He's right you know, you still my beautiful daughter"

"You have to say that you're my dad"

"Yes but Leo and I don't have to say it do we?" Angus said "But it is true, there is more to you than skin you know"

"I know that but..."

"But what?" Angus asked

"People will say things, laugh, and stare that kind of thing"

"They wouldn't dare" her dad said "Or I would be having words with them"

"Now what is this I heard about you fighting?"

"She had it coming to her she was doing my head in"

Angus snorted. We all turned to look at him.

"Sorry I just remembered the time she threw Josie over a bush to start a fight with her"

"She did not!" I said laughing

"She did! She had only being home five minutes and all" her dad said

"That was a good time" Mandy smiled


End file.
